Good Advice

On one of the boating forums that I am a member of a guy made a post looking for a woman to sail around the world with him. Below is the advice one member gave him.

Get a dog instead.

-Dogs don't cry.
-Dogs love it when your friends come over.
-Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
-Dogs think you sing great.
-A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
-Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
-The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
-Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
-Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
-Dogs are excited by rough play.
-Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
-Dogs understand that farts are funny.
-Dogs love red meat.
-Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
-Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
-If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
-Dogs don't shop.
-Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
-A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
-Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
-A dog's parents never visit.
-Dogs love long car trips.
-Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
-Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. 
-When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot -it. 
-Dogs like beer. 
-Dogs don't hate their bodies. 
-No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album. 
-No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. 
-Dogs never criticize.
-Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
-Dogs never expect gifts. 
-It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. 
-Dogs don't worry about germs. 
-Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. 
-Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
-Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. 
-Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster -one. 
-You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day..
-Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. 
-Dogs don't borrow your shirts. 
-Dogs never want foot-rubs. 
-Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. 
-Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 
-Dogs can't talk.
-Dogs aren't catty. 
-Dogs seldom outlive you.

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE - 

-Both look stupid in hats. 
-Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. 
-Both tend to have "hip" problems. 
-Neither understand football. 
-Both look good in a fur coat. 
-Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say. 
-Neither believe that silence is golden. 
-Both constantly want back rubs.
-Neither can balance a checkbook. 
-You can never tell what either of them is thinking. 
-Both put too much value on kissing. -

HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS - 

-It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman. 
-Women look good in sweaters. 
-Women leave the room to fart. (I have found this one not to be true)